I Love You But
by deadfinalpower
Summary: DBSK/TVXQ/Tohoshinki I never imagined meeting JaeJoong like this.  Stumbling upon him, staring into his handsome face. It was love at first sight, but I knew that it would never happen.  I was a fan, and it would stay that way.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: You know what I find ironic? I sort of dislike stories that include the writer being incorporated into the story as a main character of love interest. I have a reason for this though. The way the story is written sounds very conceited or half assed. I don't like it when the writer makes the story conceited, but my story is going to be like this anyways. I guess I'm a hypocrite now. I hope you will enjoy my story, and please review. I don't care if you flame me, as long as there's reviews. It lets me know people are actually reading my stories that I consider to be not that good.

I woke up feeling the sun's golden rays upon my face. It was bright in my room, and looking at the clock it was already noon. I sat up on my bed looking out my window that was on my left side and saw the sun light being partly filtered by the neighbor's tree. I heard my phone rang, so I reached for the phone on the bedside table on my right. "Hello. What's up?" I asked still feeling tired.

"Hey Belinda. Get ready to go out to play badminton with me. I'm taking you with me, remember?" Her voice was bubbly and very perky.

"Oh, ok. See you later then." I hung up on her placing my phone back on table. I got out of my bed, walking over to my closet. The doors were giant sliding mirrors, and it showed my reflection which had very rumpled hair. My short black hair was sticking up in the back. My bangs which were usually parted to the right were messed up as always. I slid the closet door open grabbing a random blue t-shirt, a white jacket, and some jeans that somewhat matched the shirt. I changed my clothes as I could, and I walked to my bathroom. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and attempted to smooth down my hair with some water. I fixed my hair as best I could, but it was still sticking up in some parts.

I walked back to my room grabbing my phone and ran down the stairs. I shoved some pieces of bread and downed it with some water, and I somehow finished just when my doorbell rang. I grabbed my keys and a badminton racket letting myself out, and then locking the door before getting into my friend's car. I stuffed my cell phone and keys that I was still holding in my hands into my pockets. "What took you so long?" I asked considering my friend only lived a distance that can be traveled by car in two minutes.

"I had trouble finding the birdie." Her voice was less perky, but that might be because she had to concentrate on driving. I stared out the window seeing tons of trees that were very green. Today was a bright summer day, and I was glad I was on summer break. I stared back at my friend, and she was still as pretty as I remembered. I envied her good looks that somehow became more defined with the clothes she wore. Her face was small and smooth, but her hair was long and flowed down her back. This brunette had silky pale skin that most girls would die to have. It's kind of funny that I became friends with her. It was a simple thing; we get each other and had the same interests. That's how we became best friends that were very close.

She had the looks, height, and popularity. I didn't mind the popularity shortage, but I did mind the height and looks difference. I was an 18 year old girl that was only 4 feet 11 inches. My friend was a normal height for a girl (5 feet 3 inches if I remember correctly). My face was round, and I was very average looking. I didn't have much of a chest or curves, and to top it off I was chubby. Even though I was chubby, I could pass off as someone that was average size. The car came to an abrupt stop, and I snapped out of my very conceited thinking. "We're here," she announced. We took our stuff getting out of the car. We were making our way to the badminton place, and my friend went ahead of me. We were at a park that was very nature like, so it had a lot of trees that made your sight very limited. As I was following my friend that I somehow lost sight of, I stumbled on something and landed flat on my face on something hard.


	2. Chapter 2

I was lying on top of a much toned stranger's chest. I looked up and found myself being stared back by the stranger. His hauntingly, alluring, ebony eyes drew me in, and I found myself falling for this stranger. My breath quickened as did my heart rate. I blushed furiously studying this stranger. He seemed familiar somehow. Had I seem him before? The cap he wore hid some of his raven hair that framed this man's beautiful face. My eyes were drawn to his lips that were plump and a very lovely pink hue. Maybe this guy is famous? I mean with his looks, he could be. I snapped out of my trance when the stranger's hand was being waved in front of my face. I blushed a deeper scarlet red pushing myself off his very toned chest. I stood over the now sitting stranger taking another view of him. He was muscular, but it wasn't a scary muscular it was a sexy muscular look he had going on. Then it clicked into place. I gasped, and whisper uncertain, "JaeJoong?"

He looked up at me with an apprehensive look getting up and placing his hand over my mouth effectively silencing me. I looked at him in shock. I can't believe I fell on top of him! How embarrassing! He had a finger to his lips, and I nodded understanding that I was to be silent. He let go relaxing and sitting back against the tree we were under. He stared at me when I took my phone out taking as many pictures I could before he decided to leave. When I was satisfied, I sat in front of him keeping some distance, just in case, and looked through the pictures. I hit myself in the head barely remembering I came here with a friend. Good thing the badminton place was a thirty minute walk from her car. It's only been ten minutes, so she should be almost there. I texted her, "Sorry I'm not there yet. I'm going to be stuck in the restroom for a while. Constipation. :D"

She replied back, "Ok. Lols. Don't keep me waiting long. –Nay." I'm glad she trusted me enough to not a lot of questions. I opened the translator app on my phone.

I typed in, "Can you speak English well?" I showed it to JaeJoong, and he shook his head. Damn! I can't talk to him that much then. I was sad. I typed in, "You're bad at disguising yourself you know." I showed it to him chuckling a little. He looked at me with a pout upon his lips and crossed his arms. He said a retort in Korean I guess, and I laughed some more. It was fun being with him, even though there was a language barrier. I sighed sadly knowing I couldn't stay long. I typed in, "I have to go. I came here with a friend, and she's going to wonder where I am. Thanks for letting me take your picture. Bye." I showed it to him, and he pat my head smiling softly. He waved to me as I left, and I waved back as I walked away. Who said love at first sight isn't real? GOD! My heart was wrenching in pain, and tears ran down my face. Being apart from him was hurting me so much, but I will never be able to see him again. It's better to forget. Pretend it never happened. That's what I should do. I wiped my bitter tears, and I calmed myself down. I started to hear people nearby and the soft thud of the birdie hitting the racket. I saw my friend playing with an adult while another was stretching. "Hey. I'm sorry I took so long." They paused, and my friend waved to me.

"Now that you're here, let's play two on two with these people." She sounded really happy; she must have been having a lot of fun. I nodded complying with her wish and joined in. I enjoyed the game so much, running to and fro with Nay by my side. Somehow when all of us decided to take a break, the sun was already setting streaking the sky with red, pink, and orange. "Nay, I think it's time for us to call it a day. We should get home." She nodded, and we packed up our things. There wasn't much thankfully, and we waved goodbye to the adults that were still going at it. Shouldn't they be more tired than us? We piled into Nay's car, and she drove me home. My parents weren't home yet, so I decided to go for a little walk.

I dropped off the racket and looked at my cell phone. It was already five pm. The sky was dark, and the night air was becoming a little chilly. It was a good thing I had my jacket on. It was silent in my neighborhood. I felt my cell phone, and I picked it up. "Hello," I said walking the direction I came from.

"Belinda, come home quickly. It's getting late, and it's not good for a young lady to be out at night." I heard my mom clearly.

"Don't worry. I'm like a block away. It'll only take a few minutes. Bye mom." She hung up on me, and I checked my phone. It had only been ten minutes. I walked up to my door, unlocked it, and I was greeted by my little sister jumping at me. She clung onto me while I was locking the door. I chuckled prying her off and carrying her into the kitchen bridal style. "I bought some take out for dinner," my mom announced when I appeared.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: In this chapter they're going to be conversing in Korean and English, so the English conversation is going to be italicized. Enjoy!

JaeJoong's POV

"Why did you do such a reckless thing? What if the media found you? It would have been made into a scandal!" the man exclaimed outraged.

"Well she didn't do anything out of the ordinary. She just sat and observed me after her frenzy of picture taking." Well I can omit her falling on me. She was so clumsy. I chuckled slightly using my hand to silence it so that my manager couldn't hear.

He sighed. "Okay, fine. Seeing nothing serious happened and you probably won't see her again, you should rest. You'll need to get up at eight o'clock sharp for the photo shoot that's going to be on location." At these words, I felt a sharp pain originating from my chest. I absently rubbed my chest, and I walked out when the manager waved me away. I walked to my room that I was sharing with Changmin at the moment. He was already asleep on his own bed. I smiled seeing how cute he was looking so happy when he was sleeping. I lay on my own bed thinking over today's events. That girl was pretty heavy despite how small she looked. Then again, she was chubby. I'm so glad that she didn't faint like most fans. That would've been a big mess. I hoped she didn't tell anyone about me. She probably kept silence, since she didn't scream out my name when she found out it was really me. Some fans actually are unique aren't they? I left my mind wandering eventually falling to the sweet embrace of sleep.

I opened my eyes finding myself lying under the shade of the tree I met the girl. "I must be dreaming." I whispered not expecting an answer from anyone. There was a slight breeze the left the tree leaves rustling, and the air was filled with the sweet song of the birds. I could hear small steps nearby.

"What are you doing here?" I tilted my head facing the person. It was the same girl I met today.

"Relaxing," I answered simply. I was surprised that I actually understood her. Then again, it's my dream so there's no language barrier.

"It's a nice day." The girl lay down next to me looking at the clear azure sky.

"Yeah it is." Even though there wasn't much said, I felt at home with this girl. There wasn't an awkwardness that I usually felt with fans that would swarm me whenever I was discovered on a secret outing. She was so close to me that I could hear her breathing. I stared at her, finding that she fell asleep. I rolled over to get a better view of her face, which left me hovering partly over her body. The light cast upon her face made her look like she was glowing. She was average looking, but for some reason, my heart was still reacting. It beat loudly in my chest, and it wouldn't slow. Do I like this girl? It can't be, can it? I caressed her face savoring the smooth feel. Her eyes fluttered open, shock very apparent. It softened into recognition, and she smiled lovingly at me. I smiled back loving the joy on her face.

I leaned in more to give her a kiss, but she stopped me. She shook her head with tears in her eyes. I was shoved off, and she got up and ran away. I sat on the floor feeling abandoned and not understanding. Why did she run from me? It was so obvious that we loved each other. When she left, my heart shattered. How did it become so serious? Tears formed in my eyes trying to imagine a life without her. I slowly awoke with tears flowing down my face. I sat up wiping the tears away. "It's just a dream," I whispered to myself trying to console myself. It's not real. It's not real.

"What's just a dream?" a voice asked softly nearby. I identified the voice to be Changmin's, and I didn't expect him to be awake already. I felt my bed shift, and Changmin hugged me. "Why are you crying?" He sounded concerned.

I didn't answer. Should I tell him? It's not good to lie to my brothers. "I think…" I hesitated but continued, "I think I fell in love with someone." Changmin pulled back looking me in the face.

"Really?" he asked a little surprised. I nodded. "Who is it?"

I looked down. "I don't know. I was relaxing in the shade of a tree disguised, and this girl fell right on top of me. She didn't speak Korean, but she had a translator. That's how she talked with me after a frenzy of picture taking. She didn't seem like a rabid fan, at least that's how it seemed. She left really soon." I sighed. I should have asked her name or something, but that would have been useless.

"That means you have no chance of seeing her again. That's really sad." I was pulled in for tighter hug, and I buried my head into his shoulder. I started to cry again, and I could feel Changmin rubbing my back in a comforting manner. I heard the other members coming in asking what's wrong. I didn't answer because I was too busy crying my heart out. Changmin told them, and they were all gathered around me comforting me. I calmed down after a while, and everybody got ready for the photo shoot. My eyes were a little puffy from all that crying, so I put ice on them on the way to the photo shoot. When we got there, my eyes were back to normal already.

It was the same park I met the girl. I shouldn't think about her. I need to concentrate on the photo shoot. I managed to do a presentable job. We did some group shots and single shots before taking a short break. "You okay so far JaeJoong?" Yunho asked. I nodded understanding that he was the leader and he had to take care of us.

"Did you know that I met her at this park? I didn't expect to be taking our pictures here," I said a little wistfully. I chuckled scratching my head absent mindedly. I looked around at the other members, and their faces were all lit up.

"Then why don't we look for her? There's a chance she might be here. You have to try at least," Junsu said enthusiastically. I nodded a little unwilling. We followed Junsu putting on disguises. "We got to make it quick. We only have half an hour left before we got to go back." I looked at my watch, and it was only ten a.m.

We were disguised really well. You couldn't tell it was us unless you were in our faces. I led them to the tree I was relaxing under yesterday. Voices could be heard, and we slowed down. We hid behind some trees that were far from the voices but close enough to hear what was being said.

"Is she there?" Changmin asked in a hushed tone. I peered around the tree, and I saw her. They were both sitting on the ground, and she was laughing with her friend. Her friend was taller and prettier. I nodded. "Is it the tall one? She's really pretty." The others agreed with Changmin's comment.

"No, I like the shorter one."

"What?" they all whispered fiercely.

"She's so average. You're better off with the other one," Yoochun whispered. I felt a little offended.

"It's not my fault I fell in love with her. Love is a crazy thing," I shot back. I was pouting and crossed my arms.

"Calm down you two. It doesn't matter how she looks. Right now we have to do something so JaeJoong can tell her. What are we going to do?"

I laughed embarrassedly. "I have no idea. I didn't expect to find her that easily. There's a problem though. I can't talk to her because she speaks English and I don't. Also we look like creeps, and she has a friend with her."

"Aish. Why does it have to be so complicated?" Changmin asked with a whiny voice.

"Well I can help you translate," said Yunho. "First we need to get her away from her friend. We got to think of something fast too." He looked at his watch. "We only have fifteen minutes left."

"Omo, look. She's getting up without her friend." Everybody nodded, and we followed her until she was a good distance away from her friend. When she was, we got closer and I clamped my hand over her mouth. Her eyes went wide, and she struggled but Yoochun kept her from moving.

"_Don't worry. We're not creeps_." Yunho took off his disguise, and her eyes went even wider. Her eyes darted to the other members, and Yunho nodded when she pointedly stared at him. "_If you stay silent, we'll let you go, but we have something to say to you_." She nodded jerkily, and I let her go. The rest of us took off our disguises.

"_What did you want to talk about_?" she asked voice thick with emotions. She was still shocked I guess.

"Ask her if she can stay a while. We don't have enough time." I didn't understand English.

"_How long can you stay here_?" Yunho asked.

"_Er… I was about to leave and go home. I can stay for a while if you want me to._" She was fiddling with her fingers obviously nervous. She was blushing deeply. She looked so cute right now.

"_Then can you wait for us to finish our photo shoot_?" She nodded biting her lip. Yunho relayed the whole conversation, and we all laughed happily. The girl looked confused. "_Follow us. We need to hide you somewhere while we take our photos_." She nodded again trailing behind us. We somehow got past all the staff and got her into Yunho's car. Since his windows were tinted, you wouldn't be able to see her. We left a window partly open, so it wouldn't be too hot for her. We left her in the locked car and continued our photo shoot.


	4. Chapter 4

Oh my god! I can't believe it! It was DBSK in the flesh! They're so hot! I wonder if I can get pictures of them. That would be so cool! I wonder what they need me for. Did I do something wrong? Oh! It must be because of the pictures I took of JaeJoong yesterday. What if they make me delete them? I don't want that to happen! Oh, it might be because I fell on him. I can't believe that I fell on top of him. It might be because of that. I could have injured him, and they're going to make me pay for his medical bills. I don't have that kind of money, but JaeJoong didn't look injured. What did I do then?

"Sheesh!" I whispered to myself a little frustrated. I ran my hand through my hair in annoyance. It was dark in the car, and it was a little hot. They may have opened a window, but it was still a hot day. It wasn't comfortable sitting in one position, but I didn't want to mess up their car by accidentally touching something. I shifted in the passenger seat. "How long do I have to wait for them?" I sighed knowing being patient wasn't something I was good at. I fished my cell phone out and started playing games trying to relieve some boredom. I was talking to myself, "If Nay was here, it would be more fun. We would be talking so much. She loves DBSK more than I do. Right now, we would probably be fangirling. Nay would have said something like 'JaeJoong will be my husband.'" I felt a sharp pain suddenly. Why did I have to feel this way?

"If only she was here.." I whispered still feeling the pain. What do they want from me? Did they want to meet Nay? It hurt even more now. She is pretty, and I am a very close friend. The pain throbbed violently, and I clutched my chest. They probably like her and want to get closer. I bit my lip fighting back the tears. I tightened my grip on my chest, trying to calm myself down. I have to stop thinking like this. I'm only hurting myself like this. I need to stay calm. I slowly felt myself relaxing into the seat.

The car door opened, and I gasped loudly. I chuckled at myself seeing Yunho looking at me curiously. I got scared for nothing. "Put this on," Yunho said handing me a hat and some sunglasses. I put them looking at myself in the car door mirror. I looked like a guy… Is it so hard to look cute? "Come on." I followed them to a somewhat isolated spot in the shade of a tree.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked a little softly. Yunho laughed.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. You're not in trouble don't worry." His tone was light and airy.

"Oh." I rubbed my hands together nervously. "Then…" I trailed off unsure of what to say.

"We just wanted to be friends with you."

"Eh?" I asked not sure I heard correctly. They wanted to be friends? "Why?" It makes no sense to become friends with me.

"We just want to be friends. Do we need a reason?" I shook my head staring intently at Yunho and the others. They looked very serious. "Do you want to be friends then?" How could I refuse? I shook my head enthusiastically. I have no idea why this is happening, but this is so cool! I pinched myself, and it hurt. I'm not dreaming. "Then let me introduce everyone. You can call me Yunho." Said man extended his hand out, and I shook it. His hand was surprisingly smooth for a guy, but he had a very firm grip. It kind of hurt a bit. "This is Changmin." A very tall man stepped out from behind Yunho. I extended my hand, but he didn't take it. Instead he pat my head chuckling while saying something I didn't understand.

"Chibi-tan," said a deep voice.

"I am not," I retorted indignantly.

"So you understand Japanese?" I shook my head profusely red in the face. "That was Yoochun." Yunho gestured to a laughing man that stood on Yunho's right.

"Baka!" I yelled at him. I stuck my tongue at him, and everyone burst into laughter. Within that laughter, I heard a very weird laugh to put it simply.

"Ok," Yunho stopped laughing and gestured to another man. "This guy is Junsu." Junsu walked up to me smiling and I backed up slightly. He got closer and suddenly pinched my cheeks.

"Kawaii," he said.

"Eh? Yada," I managed to say with him pinching me. I smiled weakly when he finally let go. "That hurt," I said whining just a bit. I rubbed my cheeks trying to soothe the pain. Did I mention that I wasn't a big fan of pain? I rubbed my cheeks that were red from the comment and pain Junsu caused. I haven't been called cute in a long time.

"I thought you didn't know Japanese," Yunho pressed once more.

"Er… I watch a lot of anime, so I learn a few words. That's about all the Japanese I know anyway. By the way, why are you the only one speaking English?" It was nice talking to Yunho don't get me wrong, but it was really creepy since it was only me and him talking.

"I'm the leader, so I need to represent the group. The others don't speak much English, but we all speak Korean and Japanese. Oh yeah! This is the last guy called JaeJoong." JaeJoong stepped out from behind Yunho, and my heart skipped a beat. He was still as handsome as I saw him yesterday. He walked up to me and I shifted slightly unsure of what to do. I was pulled into a hug, and my heart quickened. I knew I was red in the face, but I can't feel this way! Shut up my beating heart! I was rather nervous.

"Um…" I didn't want to look up at him and feel my heart beat even harder. I pushed on him slightly, and he let go. I could see a slight pout on the angel in front of me, and it didn't suit him. I felt mesmerized by this man's beauty. He disappeared behind Yunho once again, and I could feel disappointment weaving heavily on my shoulders. Just because I like him, it doesn't mean anything will ever happen. I'm a normal girl. "So this is what you wanted to talk about? Aren't you guys only here for like a few days? Why bother to be my friends?"

"Hang on a second." They started discussing, and I felt left out. If only I understood, all of us could talk together. I want to be able to speak to the rest of them more. "Ok, we are only for a couple of weeks, so we have one week starting off today. We want to be your friend because you're interesting."

"I'm interesting. How so?" It wasn't adding up.

"Let's just leave it at that. Since we're done for the day, let's get some lunch. We'll treat you to a meal."

"Oh you don't have to," I said shaking my head. I didn't want idols paying for me.

"No, it's ok. We're friends now aren't we?" Yunho grabbed me, and I was dragged along with them. We were all disguised, and we ended up at the nearest restaurant. It was a ramen shop, and we ordered the same food because of Yunho. I ended up sitting in the middle of Junsu and Yoochun, and on the other side sat JaeJoong, Yunho, and Changmin. Yunho sat across me, but it didn't make me feel better with Yoochun next to me. For some reason, Junsu kept fussing over me, and Yoochun kept laughing. Whenever I sent him glares, he would laugh even more and everyone else would join in.

I sat back in the seat and sighed. I didn't like this one bit. I guess I have to bear it since they're not normal people right? I could feel my eyes watering. I should have known I wasn't able to hold it in. I looked down at my feet and clenched my fists. I waited for my tears to dry before I had to find a tissue to use. I didn't want them to see me crying for no good reason. My vision blurred, and I could feel the tears dropping onto my lap. I felt someone wipe my tears, and I looked up into the face of Yoochun. He was wiping my tears with his thumb, and I smiled bitterly. What the hell is wrong with me?

It became silent at our table, and I looked back down wiping away my tears. I could feel their stares directed at me, and it wasn't very comfortable. The food arrived, and I ate quickly in the permeable silence. When everybody finished, they paid and we left. It was awkward, but I didn't feel like talking. I should probably ditch them. It wouldn't be good for me to be mixed up with them. I dwindled behind without them noticing. They were soon out of my line of sight, and I made a run for it. I ran for my house as quick as my legs could take me.


	5. Chapter 5

I ran and ran. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. I stood in place heaving trying to get oxygen into my lungs. I clutched my sides that were hurting, and my legs throbbed with the sudden exercise. I could feel sweat running down my face. I gulped taking notice of the dry feeling in my throat. It wasn't a good idea to sprint as far as I could go. I started to walk again with pain coursing through my body. I winced with each step, and I knew I was a sight to behold. I knew I looked disheveled and was red in the face. I found myself deep in the park that we met. Why didn't I pay attention to where I was running off to? I saw people playing badminton on this fine day. Why couldn't the weather reflect the way I was feeling? The bright sunlight coming down didn't fit my dark mood. I walked on knowing if I kept going I would reach my home soon. My house was close to the park anyways. I listened warily and looked around getting an inexplicable chill down my back. I felt like something big was coming, but it may have been paranoia.

The sounds of people playing badminton faded into nothingness as I walked further into the forest like park. The trees blocked the sunlight lightening my mood with the darkness. I felt at peace with the place for no reason. I walked up to a tree sitting down against it, knowing no one could find me here. I listened to the surroundings and heard birds in the distance. It's funny how I didn't notice it before. I must have been very deep in thought. Leaning against the tree, I could feel my muscles relaxing. The pain was going away slowly, and my breathing was already calm. Wind started pulling on my hair, and I looked up into the canopy seeing many clouds. It was chilling to see the darkness of the sky that was bright only a few minutes ago when I last saw it.

I sat in the silence looking up at the dark sky. It was a calming sight, but I soon grew restless. I got up and walked again.

"Why did you run from me?" the voice rang out, and I paused midstride. It was such a familiar voice. I turned around slowly and saw him. In all his glory, he stood but a few feet away. He started advancing toward me, and I moved away in response. Would I be able to run for it? I walked backwards faster and he did too. I turned to run, but I was grabbed. I was held in his arms tightly, and I could feel his beating heart against my back. "Why?" he asked again, with sorrow coming in waves crashing against my very being. I swallowed not being able to answer yet.

I was glad I wasn't facing him at the moment feeling tears falling down my face. I didn't want anything to happen between us, but my emotions were too out of control. I was in love with him, and I knew it would be hard for me if he was far away. "I had to." It was a simple answer, but we both knew there was more to it than just that. I paused trying to compose an answer that could explain way more than what I had just uttered. I clutched the hands that held me so tightly and felt them go a little rigid in response. I caressed them lightly feeling the hold loosen slightly. I sighed. "I couldn't let my emotions take control of my life. I didn't want it to affect you. I'm a possessive person that would capture and cage you. I would hide you from the world so I can selfishly keep you to myself. If I did that, there would be many consequences that I'm not willingly to pay. I want so much, but I don't want to lose anything. I can't cross over to your world, and you can't merge into mine seamlessly. There's so much that could and would go wrong. You need to understand what can't and won't happen." I didn't believe half the words I said, but I had to believe in them otherwise. If I didn't, everything would crumble down.

I waited for him to answer to what I had said. He didn't. I took his arms off me and faced him. I remembered he couldn't speak English, so it was a waste of breath. He didn't understand a word I said! I sighed. I wished there wasn't a barrier like this. "I love you so much, but you don't understand what I said. It's a waste, but I hope you will be happy in the future. You will forget about me anyways. I'm so sorry to have bothered you. Sayonara." I took one last look, and seeing he didn't move one inch, I took the incentive to leave. I felt this immeasurable sorrow crushing me from the inside. I didn't know the exact magnitude of my emotions before, but I knew it well now. It was hard turning away from him, but it was even harder to walk away. Tears flowed freely, and I was sobbing softly as I made my way home. My chest felt crushed, and my heart throbbed so hard I swore it would burst from the effort of just beating. If my life ended right now, would I still remember him? I turned painfully to still see his figure standing in that one spot I left him. I looked away quickly wishing I had never met him. It was fun at first, but now it was torture.

Emotions played upon my mind heavily, and my head hurt with the effort I used trying to tune it out. I started seeing a wide array of colors dotting my vision. I felt a little dizzy with each step I took, but I chose to ignore it. I walked to the intersection with barely any cars there. I walked to the pole and leaned on it feeling very weak. I don't remember being sick. Colors played in my sight, and my headache pounded on my head. It hurt standing upright, so I sat down. The aching didn't stop but persisted. I looked up seeing the signal turn. I placed my hand on the floor trying to get up, but everything shut off.

I felt warmth that put me at ease quickly. It was dark where I sat in the room, but it was soothing. I felt so at home in this dark room. What was I thinking of before? What was I doing before? My questions couldn't be answered in this impending darkness. It was lonely in this darkness, but there wasn't anything to worry about right? I got up feeling something should happen but not sure exactly what. I suddenly felt like the dark room was somewhere I had no right to stay in. I didn't know what I was doing here, but I should go. I got up, and I started walking. I noticed that it was too dark to see anything. I was blind in this dark hell hole.

I felt desperate and wanted to get out of this place. I didn't like it one bit. It was creepy not being able to see. I wandered more into the darkness, and I met a wall or barrier of some sort. I walked along it, hoping to find a door of some sort. I did eventually. I gripped the knob and opened blinded by the rushing light.

When my eyes fluttered open, I saw his face. He had a worried look plastered on his face, and I reached out hesitantly. I touched his face softly and watched his soft smile. I smiled myself happy that I could elicit such a response from him. I noticed that I was lying down on a bed. "Where am I?"

"You're in our hotel room." Someone walked up to the bed, and it was Yunho. He was smiling softly, but I could sense the concern floating in the air.

"What am I doing here?" I questioned confused.

"JaeJoong found you on the floor passed out, and he brought you here. You should know how worried he was."

"Oh." Of course my friends would worry about me if I passed out somewhere. I couldn't help feeling a little more down than earlier. I knew it wasn't a good idea to stay any longer at this place, but having one more moment of fun would be okay. Wouldn't it? "When were you guys leaving again?"

"We're going back to Korea after tomorrow. Why?"

"Are you guys going to be free tomorrow then?" I wanted to have some fun. I wanted to make some memories if any with my favorite idols. Even if I will be heartbroken when he leaves, but it doesn't matter to him.

"Yeah. What did you have in mind?" I couldn't stop myself from smiling. I sat up on the bed and leaned on the headboard.

"Then let's go somewhere to have some fun. Will you guys come with me to an amusement park? I know you guys will have to disguise yourself, but it will be fun." I smiled happily for a moment thinking of the fun we could have together.

"Hmm. Let me ask everybody else." Yunho grabbed JaeJoong, and they walked out the room. I looked around seeing a fancy room surrounding me. To my right was a window that showed the sun setting. It was a beautiful sight to behold. The golden sky changing colors as the light fled. They walked back in as it was happening.

I pointed at the window, and said, "Isn't it pretty?" They were watching it with me as the sun disappeared showing a darkened sky.

"Yes, it is," Yunho remarked. Silence was in the air as I was still looking at the window. I turned to look at all of them and waited. "We talked about it, and we think it would be fun. Where are we going to then?"

"We'll be going to Six Flags. How are you guys going to meet me there?"

"We can drive there, but we don't know where it is."

"How about this? You guys meet me around nine at the park you found me at, and I'll take us there. I'll just borrow the family van. It fits seven people, so it should be okay."

"Ok. I think it's getting late. Do you want us to take you home?"

"Sure… Where are we anyways?" I had no idea where I was at the moment.

"Um… you're at the Hilton hotel. It's like a ten minute walk from the park." The Hilton was close to the park, and if I remember correctly it's the opposite direction, I come from.

"I know where we are then. It's close to my house." I got off the bed and followed Yunho to his car.

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. What was I attempting to do? Should I really go through with this? What am I going to lose in the process? Will I break in the end? This feeling of excitement and dread coursed through my body, and it kept me awake. I wouldn't know the outcome, but something big would happen. I turned over and glanced at the clock. Midnight. I need to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up happy and sad. Today will be fun and full of memories, but this is the last time I will see him. I looked up at the clock, and it said eight thirty. Wait! Eight thirty! Crap I'm going to be late! I grabbed an outfit and changed quickly. Grabbed my cell phone and car keys and scribbled 'borrowed the van to go to Six Flags with my friends' on a note and stuck it to the refrigerator. Grabbed some bread and bit into it while looking for my house keys. Looked at the clock apprehensively and it said eight fifty. Found my house keys and made my way out to my car frantically. I drove over to the park with just a minute to spare.

I parked at the entrance of the park and waited. I looked around for them, but all I saw was a five gang like people making their way toward my van. Wait… gang like people! Oh shit! Why aren't they here yet? I slumped in my seat and made sure my doors were all locked. I hoped they would walk by like nothing happened, but one of them looked in my passenger window and knocked on it. I dreaded what would happen if I didn't respond so I looked up at the person.

He was smiling broadly, and I opened the passenger window for him. "Hey baby. Are you by yourself?" The man's voice was low, and I felt even more scared. When he started laughing, I was confused. "Ahaha! You should see how you looked." The man took off his sunglasses and bandana, and it was Yunho.

I gasped slightly and felt indignant. "How could you do that to me? I was genuinely scared to death!" I knew I would be red in the face now.

"Did you think we would come as ourselves? Did you forget we're famous people?" Yunho questioned me still smiling.

"Of course I wouldn't forget, but you didn't have to scare me." I unlocked my car doors. "Come on in." Yunho sat next to me, Junsu and Yoochun sat in the middle seats, and Changmin and JaeJoong sat all the way in the back. I locked the doors and drove off.

**Skip to 10:30 already inside the amusement park**

We stood in line waiting to get on the ride, and we were conversing as if we were old friends. I listened to their voices in Japanese. Their voices were soothing to my ears. "What do you think Belinda?" Yunho suddenly questioned.

"Eh? I'm sorry. I wasn't listening."

"Who do you want to sit with? Changmin or JaeJoong?" Yunho was smiling as if expecting something.

"Do I really have to choose? It's so hard when all of you are so handsome." It was true though.

"Is it that hard to choose between two people? It all depends on your taste." What was he hinting at? Did he figure out that I liked 'him'? I giggled nervously feeling like an idiot. If I chose 'him', would it look obvious that I like him? Maybe I should go with Changmin, he looks harmless.

"Um... I'll ride with Changmin then." I scratched my head pathetically, and I glanced at them quickly. I caught Yunho's pout before it was quickly replaced with a smile. I also saw JaeJoong quick little frown. What was going on here? Was I figured out all ready? We slowly moved along, and I followed behind JaeJoong just because I wanted to be close. I felt like hugging him, and expressing my love to him when he frowned but I couldn't do that. Man! This is not the way to make any good memories. Memories... ah! I could take pictures with them. Why didn't I think of that before? But how do I bring that up? Well, it should be easy right? People usually take pictures when they go to the amusement park, but would they agree? I felt like shaking myself for not having any answers for my own questions. This wasn't going anywhere. I sighed softly. I really felt like taking a picture with JaeJoong, but it would be creepy if I kept that picture with me all the time just because I like him. If I took pictures, I would have to give it to them too. Then I wouldn't be able to have pictures of JaeJoong and me together alone. Aish! This is too complicated! I'll just have to take group pictures and edit them myself. But how do I do that? I was never good with technology. Ahh! Just forget it!

I felt like someone was looking at me weird and I looked up to find them staring at me. "Are you okay, Belinda?" Yunho questioned.

"Uh yeah... I'm okay. I was just thinking." I tried to slide off the seriously in thought face I probably had on at the moment and replace it with a regular face.

"Thinking about what?" Shit! Would it be embarrassing if I asked them? We're friends so it shouldn't be embarrassing.

I laughed slightly nervous. "Um I wanted to take pictures with you guys..." I cut it short and blushed furiously. I sound like a total fan girl! But then I am... this is not helping. I started at the laughter that came and stopped looking down. I was clapped on the shoulder softly by Yunho who smiled softly at me.

"Of course. Why didn't you ask earlier? We could have taken some at the entrance of the park." I smiled in response to his words. "By the way did you bring a camera any of you?" He looked at everyone questioning, and I smacked myself in the head. Why didn't I bring one? Well my cell phone should be okay. JaeJoong nodded slightly to the question, and Yunho gestured. JaeJoong brought out a small digital camera from his pocket and handed it over to Yunho. "Okay gather around." We did as he said and I was placed in the middle of all of them since I was the shortest. Yunho stood beside as did JaeJoong, which I was extremely grateful for, and we were bunched up. Yunho holding the camera slung his arms around my shoulder so we would fit in the picture, and I blushed horribly. The flash went off, and he held the camera so we could see the picture. I was blushing in the picture. Damn it!

"It came out pretty good didn't it?" I asked them.

"Hmm... I guess, but we could do better later. Now we go on the ride." Yunho smiled and dragged the whole group with him, and I followed hastily behind. I ended up with Changmin right next to me like as I said I would. The ride started and we went high into the sky. Did I mention I'm not a big fan of heights? No, I don't think I did. As we went higher in the sky, I clung to the bars with immense strength, and I started screaming my head off as we went down. Loop after loop we went and I still managed to keep screaming. I finally stopped screaming when we stopped. Changmin was looking at me weirdly, and I felt so embarrassed. "Hey, was that you screaming?" Yunho questioned while walking to another ride.

"Yea..." I answered reluctantly. His eyebrows rose up considerably high.

"Wow... you screamed a lot." I shouldn't have screamed... Mentally berating myself I kept silent so as to not draw any more unwanted attention to myself. "Are you scared of heights that much?"

"Huh? No... not really. I'm just a... screamer I guess. Ehehe..." That was a pathetic answer.

There was an awkward silence after I said this. We continued walking when Yunho suddenly stopped. "Why don't we try to take another picture then?" Everyone murmured their 'oks' and gathered closely once again. Yet again I stood in the middle, but this time JaeJoong stood behind me. If only he was hugging me... The flash went off, and we looked at the picture. It came out better than last time. I wasn't blushing, and I managed a smile that actually seemed happy. I think the rest of the day will be fine.

**Nine o'clock pm at the hotel**

I sat in the car watching them get out. "I guess this is good bye then." Yunho standing outside my window along with the other guys smiled softly. I smiled bitterly. It's sad when you separate from friends. Yunho pat my head, and I felt like a little kid.

"Why do you say that? We can keep in touch with you even if we will be busy back in Korea. We can exchange e-mails."

"I guess, but I don't know how to type in Korean."

"Don't worry. I can type it in English. I'll just have to type for the whole group I guess." I smiled a little more and nodded. I looked in my glove compartment for paper and pen. Thank god my mother is a person that keeps that kind of stuff in there. I wrote my e-mail on a piece and handed it over to Yunho. He took it and said, "Our email is in Korean, so wait a while for an e-mail from us. I need to make an English one. Expect one from us. Don't worry if you can't recognize it, I'll send you pictures from today so you'll know." He turned around and said something in Korean to the group and backed away.

Changmin came up to me and pat my head and smiled so happily that it made me think I might actually like him even when he looked at me weird. Junsu pinched my cheeks softly and also smiled happily. Yoochun smiled a little and pat my head. "Sayonara chibi-chan." I didn't retort at all. It wouldn't fit the atmosphere if I did. JaeJoong walked up to my window slowly and towered slightly over my head. He bent down a little so that we were face to face, and I blushed at the closeness. He moved closer, and I closed my eyes. I felt his lips upon my cheek, and I blushed even more.

His breath tickled my cheek as he whispered something I could hear. "Eh? What did you say?" He looked at me wistfully but didn't repeat his words. He pat my head and stepped behind Yunho. Changmin approached JaeJoong and punched him playfully. I guess it wasn't serious whatever he said.

"We're gonna head up now, so have a safe drive home." Yunho waved to me, and I waved back to them. They smiled as I left them.

I lay on my bed waiting for the e-mail. How long does it take to make one? Ten minutes had passed since I left. Maybe I'm being impatient. "You have mail!" my computer chirped out. I rushed over to my desk and sat down. I clicked on the e-mail from , and I saw the pictures from today. It read:

Hey it's me Yunho. Sorry I took so long to make the email, but I couldn't think of a name that wasn't already taken. Did you want to know what JaeJoong said to you after he kissed you? If you do, you should e-mail us back soon. We took a lot of pictures. Its sad we won't be able to see each other for a while. Maybe we can come back when we have a vacation or something like that, but that would probably happen in a few months. Since we won't be able to see each other we'll take pictures for you to look at. You should see the ones we took today. The rest of the guys wanted to say good night.  
-Yunho from TVXQ

I looked at the pictures smiling as I went through them. I really like the ones where I stood next to JaeJoong. I should reply to them, so I did. I wrote:

Hey its me Belinda. Tell me what JaeJoong said to me I need to know. And that wasn't a kiss! It was more like a peck. Besides it wouldn't count because it wasn't on the lips, so it isn't a kiss. I don't mind that I won't be able to see you guys as much as I did today because that's how it was before I met you guys. If I get lonely I can just e-mail you guys right? Since you're going to send me photos, I'll send you some too. I look forward to the days you guys can come back to the states and play with me. There's so much we could do here when you come over. It's pretty late, so good night. I hope you make it home safely and rested.  
-Belinda

I sent it to them hoping for a reply. I wonder what JaeJoong said. It didn't seem that serious when he said it, but I don't know what he could have said. He could even said I was ugly and I wouldn't know. I looked at the clock and it said ten. I should sleep. I shut down the computer and fell into slumber.

* * *

Sorry I took so long, but this chapter is a little longer than what I usually write. So it should make up for lost time right? I'm sorry I didn't update last two months even though on my profile I promised to update my stories monthly. I don't know what happened. Time just went by so fast. I was too wrapped up in high school I guess. I'm sorry. At least a new chapter should come out next month. How am I doing so far? I'm not sure if I can drag this out any longer. I might end this story by the next chapter. So uh... who knows?


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Since I am horrible at telling dates in my stories. Let's assume today is a Sunday. And since I am supposedly eighteen in this story, I am in college. So I won't have classes till next week supposedly. I don't remember saying it was summer vacation, so um yeah. Just a little background info for you readers. But this wouldn't matter much since I'm trying to wrap up my story. So um yeah... Enjoy!\

"Hey Belinda what are you up to?" my friend Ysabella asked across from me. I sat in a chair with my laptop on the table.

"Nothing much. Just looking through my emails."

"Are you really going to wait for them to come back here? I don't think you can last any longer. I can see those bags under your eyes." Ysabella was looking at me meaningfully when I looked her in the eyes. I had to agree with her. I didn't even think I could last this long, but alas a few weeks had passed. I don't think I would be able to concentrate on their group while I have to attend my classes.

"No matter how long it is. I will wait. I have waited this long, I think I can last at least a month or more." My voice had a lingering sorrow in it, and I knew Ysabella could hear it. Her eyes softened coming across less stern than earlier.

"You know I'm always here for you. You can tell me things. I know that you love him, but I don't think it's going to work out for you two. He's famous and you're a girl from a small little quaint town. Even if he loved you back, there's a language barrier you need to cross."

I could feel the tears prickling my eyes. "What makes you think I haven't thought about this already? You need to understand I already thought about this. I can't help what we are in this world. But isn't love supposed to overcome all obstacles. If we can't speak, we'll just have to feel." Ysabella nodded with my response, but I can tell she didn't believe in what I said. She just doesn't understand how much I love him. Just because her love life was running smoothly doesn't mean everybody else's love life was doing the same. She was too innocent for her own good. I sighed shutting off my laptop and making my way out with said item in tow. "Come on. We should eat something."

"Yeah." I could hear the chair scraping across the floor as Ysabella got up.

***(summer break during June)** **now** **December***

"Ysabella do you know what's wrong with my daughter? Lately she's been getting more tired each day, and I can tell that she's becoming depressed. She doesn't have those bags anymore, but I know she's not getting enough rest." I was outside my kitchen listening in on the conversation. I didn't know I was being so obvious. I need to be more careful around anyone now. I promised this to myself.

"I don't know what's wrong with Belinda. She seems just fine to me. No one has seen anything wrong with her. She's seems like her usual bright and cheery self at school. The only thing that's different is that she's reading more novels." Ysabella knew what was wrong with me, but she didn't say anything about it. I silently thanked her in my head. I knew I was right to trust Ysabella.

"What kind of novels?"

"Oh she's reading more romance novels. You know how girls are when they don't have boyfriends. They need some form of romance even if it isn't real."

"Oh I understand. Thank you Ysabella." I quietly made my way away from the kitchen door during the small pause. "Can you get Belinda. It's time for dinner." I ran away from the kitchen to my stairs and waited for Ysabella. She saw me and gave me a sad smile. I could tell lying for me was taking a toll on her. I walked over to her and hugged her. I would never make her do this again for me. Yet another promise.

***February***

I looked through my email. I never recieved a email back from them. I waited for their answer from the first email I sent them, but it never came back. I guess I need to give up my dream of loving JaeJoong. Yes it was time to stop my heart from loving him. I lasted a long time didn't I? Eight fucking long months! I shouldn't have even tried to get to know them. "Hahaha!" I laughed aloud in my room, luckily no one else was home. I laughed my head off until I was red in the face and tears were streaming down my face. I jumped into my bed slamming my face into my pillow crying myself to sleep.

***June** **Saturday***

A year had passed, and once again I was on summer break. I was in a tree lying lazily on a branch, humming DBSK's song Doushite. I think it seemed to suit my mood just fine. I could hear the sound of badminton not too far off from the tree I lay on. I could faintly hear Ysabella yelling at Nay to pick up her pace. I smiled at this. Nay was already tired from playing with me, and Ysabella was making Nay play with her. It was all good though. Nay wanted to be on the college badminton team. Nay was getting really good so I knew she was keeping up pretty well.

The noon heat was making me tired even when I was in the tree's shade, and I eventually drifted off to sleep.

***later that day***

"Hey Ysabella where's Belinda? Do you think she left already?" Nay asked.

"Knowing her she probably already went home. I think we should go home too. It's already six."

"Yeah. Ok see you at the mall next week."

"Bye Nay." The two girls walked away to their cars and left the park.

I was dreaming of the day I met JaeJoong. I was walking through this park on a sunny day when I suddenly tripped over him. I remember falling onto him, and I remembered how I was literally feeling him up as I got off. It was a funny encounter, but it was love at first sight. We only spent two days together, but we weren't alone. We were with the rest of DBSK, and I know what I saw as a romantic thing, he saw it as a day with friends. Either way, there was no way JaeJoong would like me. It assured me, encouraged me to forget about it all. I was happier than ever now that I had let it go, but I knew I was lying to myself. I still loved him. I just didn't linger on it anymore.

I woke up suddenly when I felt chilled. My eyes opened to the fading sunlight, and I cursed under my breath. I took out my phone checking the time. "7:30. Shit I need to get home," I whispered to myself. I glanced around. I guess Nay and Ysabella already left. I shouldn't have dozed off in the tree. I heard soft crunching in the direction my eyes were already trained on. I waited not moving where I was in the tree. I could see where the person was, but the person wouldn't see me unless they were looking up in the trees. I heard more noise, and I concluded there was more than one person.

They were walking slowly talking in a foreign language, which I could tell was Korean. It couldn't be DBSK could it? I saw five guys standing under my tree, and I was staring intently at them. They looked different, but it did look like DBSK. I shifted a little, and my branch cracked loudly. They all looked at me when I suddenly leaped branches. The thin branch I was on a little earlier landed in the middle of the group, and there were all staring at me intently. I climbed higher into the tree feeling very embarrassed. "Who are you?" one of them asked. I didn't answer them because I felt I was going to be cornered. They all looked at each other as if deciding something. Then the one who spoke earlier started to climb the tree. I cussed loudly and climbed higher. Good thing I was a small person. I climbed until the branches were too small to support my weight, and I could tell that the person who was barely an arms width away from me couldn't climb any higher. The man looked angry that he couldn't reach me. "Come down. Any higher and we'll both be hurt." He started to climb back down, and I climbed back down just a little. I stayed where I was in the tree watching them. The man scratched his head, and I could tell he was irritated.

"You can just leave, and pretend that nothing happened," I suggested. I was really hoping that they would leave right now because I was feeling scared being by myself with all these men that could possibly kill me. They looked at each other again before they finally left. I waited in the tree listening for their receding footsteps. I started climbing down carefully, trying not to make any noise as I climbed back down. When I got all the way down, I looked around quickly. When I was sure no one was nearby, I started running as fast as I could. I made my way for my house, but I could hear more footsteps behind me. I turned a corner getting a quick glance at the people behind me, and it were the five guys from before. I cussed in my mind, knowing I wouldn't be able to outrun them. I just had to take detours home. I ran into an alleyway that ran through the center of my block, and I ran the corner and dashed into a darkened doorway. I could hear their footsteps as they stopped at the corner I dashed by. I put my hand over my mouth calming my breath as best as I could. I could hear the group panting and coming closer to where I hid. Goddamnit. I need better luck than this. I squished myself as much as I could into the darkened part of the doorway, but they were getting closer. Please! Please just pass me! I squeezed my eyes praying.

I didn't hear any more footsteps, and I opened my eyes. "Holy fuck- mmph" I shouted before they shut my mouth. I was grabbed by the guys, and I couldn't help but think I was going to be raped. I struggled as much as I could even though I was tired, but I was pinned down and taken away. When I kept struggling, I was knocked out.

I woke up, but I kept my eyes closed knowing better. I listened around me trying to figure what happened. My arms and legs felt sore so I moved them noting I was tied up with cloth. I also had a gag on, and I was blind folded. I wonder, should I pray to be saved by someone now? I was cold on the floor where I lay, and I could hear conversation not that far away. I tried to listen in, but it was useless since it was in Korean. Someone was coming my direction, and I tried to remain still. My blind fold was taken off, and I could help but open my eyes. Big mistake on my part, the man was smiling sickly at me. I was forced to stand and was dragged away to where the rest of the people were.

"Are you sure this is her? It could be someone else." I had absolutely no idea what was happening. I could only count the seconds I was still living.

"I'm sure this is her. Just ask if you don't know for sure."

"Is your name Belinda?" I nodded dumbly. What did my name have to do with anything?

"We've found her!" Everybody started jumping, and I was dropped by the man holding me up. I landed on the ground with a grunt of pain. "Oh sorry." They picked me up and untied me. All the while I was still confused. I dusted myself off when I heard distinct ripping noises. I looked up horrified but mostly shocked. Everybody was ripping their faces off!

Scratch that they were ripping masks off. No one could rip their face off. "What the fu?" I was speechless. The guys were the members of DBSK.

Yunho was scratching his head looking apologetic. "Ehehe... Sorry if we scared you. We were just trying to find you without having fans running after us." I was furiously angry right now, but I couldn't stay angry at them. I was so ecstatic right now. I just felt so conflicting right now. Ugh! I could feel a head ache coming on. I walked to a corner turned my back to them and sat on the floor bring my knees to my chest. It was silent while I tried to will away my headache. "Are you ok Belinda?" Throb.

"Yeah.. I just got a headache. Let me sit for a while." I shut my eyes trying to empty my mind.

I finally felt relaxed and my headache was bearable. "I'm okay now." I was still in the corner. It felt awkward for me to be in the corner, but I rather stay in the corner than face all of them again. I knew I still had feelings for him, and if I looked now, my heart would sway bringing me misery. "So how's life?" I didn't mention them never contacting me after the last email, but they could have been really busy. But people _weren't always_ busy I reasoned with myself. Oh just shut up!

"Nothing much happened. If you follow us in the news, you would know what happened with our lives." It's a shame I didn't follow their lives. I didn't have the time stuff like that. Even before I met them, I didn't even follow their lives on the news. I would never be able to force myself to read stuff like that.

"Oh. That's it? Nothing else interesting happened?" I wouldn't know, but it was worth trying to continue the conversation.

"Well yeah. That's about it. Anything happened to you?" What could I say? I finally got over JaeJoong, but now that's you're all back I still like him.

"Uh... I finished another year of college, and I'm 19 now. That's about it." I really didn't get out much. I only went out to the park with my friends to play badminton, and I went out on shopping sprees with my friends. I never bought things for myself though. I was a real money pincher. I pulled out my phone peeking at the time, and it was already eight at night. "Oh I'm in trouble. I got to get home right now." I sounded really meek, but I really did have to go back home.

"Oh okay." Everybody walked out, and I followed them. I noticed we were in an abandoned ware house that was just three blocks away from my house. I waved good bye to the group not offering any words or promises of meeting up ever again. I walked home as quick as I could, and when I reached my house, I locked myself in my room.

***the next day Sunday***

I barely woke up staring at my clock. "Its only five." Ugh... I wanted to gall back asleep, but I was a person that couldn't fall back asleep after they woke up. I swiped my face with my hand. Might as well check my email. I didn't know why I had to do this every morning, but it became a habit for me. In my inbox, I had an email. Odd... I usually never had email in the morning. I usually get email around noon when everything picked up. I gasped seeing the senders email.

I haven't recieved an email from them in a long time. Why would they send me an email now? I clicked on it. The email read:

Hey Belinda! It's us. Sorry about what we did to you. We just really wanted to see you again. Are you free tomorrow? All of us wants to hang out again. If you're free, then meet us at the park at nine.

Remembering the good times,

DBSK

Sent Yesterday 12:00 pm

I didn't really feel like meeting up with them again.

***at the park 9:00 am***

I was sitting on a bench waiting for them. I felt I was being crazy meeting up with them again. There was a light breeze in the air, and the leaves were rustling. It was almost like a painting where everything was tranquil, but it didn't work with me in the picture. I was nervous and fidgety. I was never a person able to sit in one place for too long without moving at all. I glanced at a park clock. 9:07. They were late. Maybe they weren't coming, but they could be busy and held up. I could wait another ten minutes.

I felt stupid waiting at the park. I didn't dare look at the clock or my cell phone. I was reasoning with myself again. Maybe they meant at night. I sighed placing my hand on my face. I peered through my fingers looking at the clock. 12:00. I was a fool. No one in their right mind would wait that long for their friends. Maybe they were saying something to me. Maybe they didn't want to be friends anymore. It didn't matter much. "Hey Belinda. What are you doing here by yourself?"

I looked up to find my friend Derek. "I'm just sitting here. What are you doing here?" Derek was a kind person, and I knew he was a gentleman.

"Can I sit next to you?" I nodded my head. "Thanks. I was just walking around the park. I was supposed to meet up with friends, but they canceled on me. So I started walking to vent my anger. Did you eat lunch yet?" I shook my head. "You want to grab a bite together?" I didn't want to leave the park, but it was better than waiting for something that wouldn't come. It's a good thing I had money with me.

"I would like to."

***in a random restaurant***

I was chatting happily with Derek when we were waiting for our meal. I never saw Derek a lot at school, but we got along really well. It felt like we were almost best friends, the way we were talking back and forth. I would say something somewhat witty, and he would toss it back. I couldn't stop talking even when our meal came. We talked while eating. (Not while eating exactly. You know when you talk after you finish chewing. Like that.) I was really having fun, and we were just eating lunch. It made me wonder. Why couldn't I have fallen in love with Derek instead of him? It felt so right with Derek. When we finished eating, Derek paid for the meal despite my persistence to pay for myself. We were walking again enjoying each other's company in silence. I could feel his hand brush mine whenever we were walking too close. "Hey Belinda. Can I talk with you?" I looked at Derek noticing whatever he wanted to talk about was serious.

"Yeah... What's wrong?"

"I always wanted to say this, but I never had the chance to. I want to know more about you. Is that okay?" I mentally sighed in my head. I thought it was much more serious.

"Yeah that's okay. I want to know more about you." I smiled at him, but he didn't smile back as I thought he would.

"I don't mean it like friends. I mean as your boyfriend." I furrowed my eyebrows not wanting to answer back. I didn't want to reject him and hurt his feelings. I still like JaeJoong, but Derek could probably set me right. We had stopped walking when he asked me the question.

"I don't know what to think. I like someone else already." I could hear myself wavering slightly.

"Can I at least have a chance to win you over?" It didn't sound that bad, and I already agreed mentally.

"I guess but..." I could see Derek's face light up considerably before he grabbed me in a tight hug. It was really warm in his arms.

"Then it's official. We're a couple."

"But I hadn't agreed yet..." My voice fell upon deaf ears.

"A couple." I recognized that voice. I hadn't heard it a long time, and I hadn't expected to hear it in English. I stiffened in Derek's arms pretending it wasn't him.

"Yeah. Did you need something from us?" I clung to Derek tightly hoping he would get the message to shut up. I was a coward hiding in his embrace.

"Belinda... We need to speak with you." I peered at JaeJoong seeing his apologetic face. He should never look like that. I looked up at Derek seeing he had a determination in his eyes.

"Derek.." I can't believe I was pleading with Derek. He looked down at me with betrayed eyes. He let me go watching me as I left him behind.

I sat in a room with DBSK. I could feel all of their disappointment, and I had no idea to what they were disappointed about. I knew it had to do with me and Derek, but I didn't know why they were so concerned about me. It's not like I would never get a boyfriend. I mean they all had girlfriends at one point, so what's wrong with me getting one myself. The silence was uncomfortable, but I refused to say anything before they did. My hands were in my lap, and I stared at the pointedly.

"Belinda we want you to know something." I was still looking at my hands, but I knew Yunho was speaking to me. "We apologize for being late to the park. We were stuck with work, and we didn't expect that to happen. Today was supposed to be our off day." I nodded understanding this. It was expected. They were famous, and I was just an unknown girl. "What made you decide to get a boyfriend today? I just don't see you to be that type of girl?" What type of girl?

"What makes you say that? What gives you the right to have a say whether I can have a boyfriend or not? You, all of you, don't even know me enough to say this. All you know is that my name is Belinda, and you're all just my _friends._" I had to point this out because it was really the truth. I was just setting myself up for a made up world. I had no idea what they were like, and they in turn knew nothing about me.

"We know this for a fact, but we still have a say in this. Or at least Jae has a say in this." I finally looked up at them. They looked apologetic, but JaeJoong in particular looked nervous. Everyone exited the room save for JaeJoong. I didn't like where this was going.

"Do you remember that day?" he asked me in English. I was reveling in the fact he could speak English now.

"No." I really had no idea what he was talking about.

"You said this long ago. 'I'm a possessive person that would capture and cage you. I would hide you from the world so I can selfishly keep you to myself. If I did that, there would be many consequences that I'm not willingly to pay. I want so much, but I don't want to lose anything. I can't cross over to your world, and you can't merge into mine seamlessly.' Do you remember now?" I felt embarrassed as he said this. I can't believe he could remember word for word what I said in a language that he just learned to speak. If he said the same to me in Japanese or Korean, I wouldn't be able to understand what he said or even remember exactly what he said.

"Yes."

"Do you still feel that way? Tell me the truth." I looked back down to my hands.

"...yes." I said this softly.

"I want you to know that I feel the same way as you do. I want to ask you to give me a chance. Would you like to be my girlfriend instead of being that other man's?" I almost shouted yes, but I held my tongue. Did I really want to go through with this? Was I ready for this relationship? Did I still love him enough for this? Everything seemed to have one answer. Yes.

"Yes." I could hear a collective sigh from outside the door before everyone rushed in. Everybody was happy, and we all did a group hug.

***the next day***

"Derek I need to tell you something. I know you're not going to like this, so why don't we take a seat?" Derek and I sat down on a park bench. I took one look at him.

"I think I know what you're talking about. I just hope if you really do like him, that you are going to live a really happy life. This is all I ask of you." Derek really was too kind. I gave him a hug and a smile.

"I just hope that you'll find the one for you. I pray for you. Bye." I waved to Derek walking away from the park.

***ten years later***

"Belinda! When are you going to get out of bed already?" I opened my eyes sleepily rubbing them.

"Ugh... what time is it?" I didn't lift my head from my pillow. It was too fluffy too.

"It's almost time for Jae to come and pick you up for your date. By the way, when are you guys ever going to get married?"

"How many times do I have to tell you this? We're only dating. If he wants to marry me, he'll propose to me. Ysabella calm down. Why can't you accept this like Nay? I don't hear her asking me about this."

"Psh. Whatever." I got out of bed finally due to Ysabella nagging me. I got ready for my date.

***and like happily ever after blah blah blah :D**


End file.
